Starting our remodeling journey, the house and my life, we really had to take a good look at a lot of things. Most things are not as they appear. It is true that some things that are broken need to be torn out and thrown away, but not everything. When I looked at things, I only saw damage and age on the outside, how things appeared. Like I said before, just because a window is broken you don’t have to tear down the house. There are many parts to a house and there are many parts to a person. Many things needed repair and I didn’t have the knowledge to do it. But my husband, he is a builder. He is a restorer. Repairs, in the hands of the right people, bring strength back to those weak places.
I had many problems in my life, as do most people. Things that appear to be on the outside, in reality, had roots on the inside. Many habits, responses, actions and such are all symptoms of things going on inside of us – working too much, eating too much, drinking too much and the list goes on and on. Why do these things tangle us up and steal from us? Making us feel like failures when we try to get a grip, be in control. Trying to change is frustrating and useless if we don’t understand the problem, not just try to change the symptom.
Why? Sometimes it is because we just don’t know. We have never been taught about health decisions, for example. Food choices, exercise, hygiene; we were never taught as a child to start a good habit of these things. Food can be our drug of choice. We can be depressed and oppressed, food is our comfort. We give in to the fleshly desire to sit on the couch, watch tv or look at our phone. We are tired so we don’t want to move and exercise. We have a wrong relationship with food or drinks.
This could be with money, spend-a-holics, gamblers. Or our jobs, work-a-holics, housework, sex, adulterous affairs, one-night stands or pornography. All of these things are symptoms of a problem on the inside.
Wrong thinking and wrong believing make us accept that these behaviors are ok. It is the secrets inside that are killing us. The guilt and shame we live with every day. Self-medicating. Comfortably numb. Sometimes it is learned behaviors – habits and responses that have been passed down from generation to generation. Not dealing with the issues but covering them up. Ignoring the abuse and neglect or abandonment. This is how we cope with life. Not dealing with our emotions but feeding the pain and discomfort with something else. These things can be like broken windows. Especially in childhood. Unfortunately, instead of boarding it up or fixing it, what happens is the abuse continues. Other people and other situations – just like an abandoned house that has broken windows, others come by and throw rocks continuing to cause more damage. Reassuring us, pounding into us that we are worthless, unlovable and unwanted. So, the pain is real. The hurt is ongoing until we believe the worst about us. Many people are smart and talented and could do so much, but they only see what is wrong. They want to tear down themselves. Neglect – who cares, I’m nothing, not important. So, they destroy themselves, tearing down their house bit by bit with the choices they make.
There is hope. God can take a broken shack and make it into a beautiful home. He can fix what has been broken. First, He wants us to know He wants us. Yes, just like we are. The good, the bad and the ugly. There is nothing we can hide from Him. He knows us fully and He loves us unconditionally. Because He sees us the way we were meant to be. He sees the greatness in us, the strengths in us and the gifts we have. Then, He starts putting us back together. Taking out the weak and broken, putting in His strength and a feeling of belonging. He wants to be a Father to us. Many have an orphan spirit. We don’t feel like we belong anywhere and nothing belongs to us, just drifting through life. He is the healer of the broken hearted. He will never leave us. We will never be alone again. This is one of His promises and God doesn’t lie. He walks through the process of restoration with us. He has the Master hands. He walks through the fire and the flood with us. It is like when you go to surgery, you don’t fix yourself. There is a whole team that works on you. Then, there is a recovery team that takes care of you. God would never tear us apart and then leave us there. He is good all the time. God will use people to help us. Unfortunately, it is also people who hurt us but it will be people who help heal us. I know I keep saying that, but it is true. For me, trust was shattered. When the people who are supposed to love and protect you are the ones who hurt you, you have no trust.
So, how do I trust a God who I can’t see when I don’t trust people I do see? Little by little as we grow in this relationship with Him, he proves himself. God is not a man, don’t compare Him to one. He is God. The one who created us. Because this is a fallen world, there is darkness. An enemy who comes to kill, steal and destroy. Just think, if you hated a man and there was no way to get to him, what would you do? You mess with his kids. This is exactly what the devil has done. Hurt and crippled humanity. Blinded our eyes and hardened our hearts to the goodness of God. Then he leads us off to outer darkness where there is no love, brokenness and where abuse prevails. But God has delivered us from his hand. We no longer have to live in this place. He has called us out of darkness into His marvelous light. Because of Jesus and His work on the cross, suffering and pain, we have been freed. Jesus took our place and gave us His as a child of the Most High God. We can now call Him Father, sitting beside Him forever. Come into the family of God. His arms are always open to us. Let Him heal what is broken. Let Him build you the way you were created to be. Have a life of abundance and overflow. He has given us everything we need for life and Godliness. It is already ours. Come to the table. He has a chair waiting with your name on it.